September 23rd, 2008

Hat

John McCain wants to help you

With all the turmoil in the financial world, we ought not forget that things like healthcare are also important. John McCain has some thoughts on that too. Don't forget, he was part of the Commerce Committee in the Senate, so he had as close a look at, and more ability to affect, "the markets" as anyone.

Opening up the health insurance market to more vigorous nationwide competition, as we have done over the last decade in banking, would provide more choices of innovative products less burdened by the worst excesses of state-based regulation.

Don't you feel better? John McCain has been active in the financial world from the very beginning of his publc life; when Savings and Loans were the big thing, he was helping Charles Keating.

And he was involved in, "the last decade in banking,", so we can be sure his ways of reforming healthcare will be well thought out, and beneficial.
Hat

Seen in several places

Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson